Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Who Hopes He Never Watches the Watchmen?

I saw this mock Watchmen movie poster online recently, and it reminded me of how much I really, really don't ever want to see a Watchmen movie. I’m baffled by the ongoing struggle to adapt the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons graphic novel, but Warner Brothers seem to be determined to get one filmed. By now, they have so much money tied up in production something' gonna get made sooner or later, and it's probably gonna suck.

Keep in mind, I’m not especially hard to please; unlike the rest of the internet, I’m usually pretty happy with 90% the superhero films that have been made. I do, however, strongly feel there are some comics that are simply unfilmable, and Watchmen is at the top of the list. There are too many vital story elements that would almost certainly never make it to the final cut of a “tentpole” picture: the Black Freighter sequences, the articles and clippings, the time warping Mars sequences...not to mention that whole bit with Doctor Manhattan's pecker hanging out. I kind of like the TV mini-series idea, but even there, I don't know. Alan Moore's stories and ideas seem to elude Hollywood filmmakers, leading to movies like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and nobody wants that again. I say, best to leave Watchmen unwatched.


David said...

No argument that a Watchmen movie would be difficult. It came up over dinner with the ol' spousal unit recently, though, and we think it could be done decently. The trick would be to give it to a director who (a) loved it, and (b) was utterly ruthless. You'd have to cut almost everything. Pare it down to being Rorschach's investigation, with minimal diversions and flashbacks.

Do that, and you could get a good, solid movie. Not as good a story as the comic, perhaps, but entirely watchable and enjoyable.

The Mutt said...

WATCHMEN: The 12-Part Animated Series. It's not movies. It's HBO.

Matt said...

Actually, I think I heard that Zack Snyder (currently tapped to direct) intends to include the Black Freighter sequences...

...but I agree with you. I'm extremely wary of a Watchmen film, and I've no level of interest in it.