Monday, June 25, 2007

Untold Secrets of the Revolutionary War

Like me, you may have always assumed that the Revolutionary War could be summed up in three words: Boring, Boring-er, and Boring-est. As it turns out, the Birth of a Nation involved a lot more than generals, strategies, and pivotal battles. For a glimpse of the true Revolutionary War, we need to look back at Tomahawk comic books. Here, laid bare for the first time, are the truths that the history books don't want you to know:

Yes, its a little-known fact that the late 1700's saw a massive migration to America by aliens, zombies, dinosaurs, robots, Draculas, giants, werewolves, time-travelers, and cavemen:

As the colonists struggled to tame this wild new land, they faced the tyranny of England, and a battle for freedom complicated by random dinosaur attacks and Indians both standard and giant-sized:

On top of all this, Frankenstein frequently plagued the rangers, making a difficult war even more challenging:

Giant apes, soon to become commonplace, were a new and devastating threat to a war torn frontier:

The emergence of giant spiders late in the war began to turn the tide, but they were often more of a hindrance in the greater battle for independence:

In 1783, the Treaty of Paris was formally signed between Great Britain and the United States, officially ending the Revolutionary War. The still-new United States was free to forge its own destiny, with only the dwindling threat of giant robot Indians and the emergence of superhumans to deal with in this brave new world:

So next time you hear someone say that history is "boring", let them know the truth:


...and that's one to grow on!


SallyP said...

Wow! America has been the land of opportunity for wierdos and aliens for a lot longer than we thought!


Are these reprinted anywhere? They are beyond awesome looking.

Brian Hughes said...

No reprints that I'm aware of. DC recently reprinted "the War That Time Forgot" (featuring Soldiers vs. Dinosaurs in World War II), so reprinting these wouldn't be too much of a stretch, I guess, but I know of no plans to do so.

Jennifer said...

This post made my day! I love revisionist history, especially when it involves Frankenstein terrorizing the wild west.