Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Infinite Crises on Just the One Earth

Mother Earth has a lot of problems these days: global warming, dwindling ice caps, and pollution are some of the symptoms of the larger problem, which is all these bastard humans teeming on the surface, tearing shit up. But if you think global warming is bad, wait ‘til you get a load of all the crazy stuff that was happening to our poor beleaguered planet in 1950’s science fiction comics! For awhile there, Earth couldn’t catch a break as it was doubled, halved and tagged for demolition:

If Earth wasn’t itself being turned itty bitty, we were being attacked by tiny twin Earths:

Comic books showed us that in the far-flung future, Earth might face a number of dire fates, like being up for grabs in a winner-take-all cosmic game:

Or being towed away like a broke down pickup truck:

Or even locked away in a giant invisible safe! Sure, why not?

Yes, many are the dangers that face our fair planet; cometization, continent-jacking, and sexual harassment from the other planets are a few more potential threats:

After all this abuse, Earth may well be finally, shamefully, reduced to panhandling:

All covers culled from the Grand Comic Database.


Sleestak said...

>knock knock<
"Yes, who is it...?"
"Earthohvah's Witness! Have you read our pamphlet?"

Maxo said...

Poor Earth - you just know it's lugging a beat-up lawnmower behind it.

Anonymous said...

OMG I think I remember that MIS with the Earth having a bulls-eye from my early childhood!
Thanks for the memory cell jolt!