Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Iron Man 2 Villain Suggestions


FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER

Marvel’s monster comics were winding down when Iron Man #101 was published, and the last thing Shellhead needed after a big hundredth issue showdown with the Mandarin was a confrontation with Frankenstein. They fought at first, in the Mighty Marvel manner, and then teamed up to fight the Dreadknight, who had kidnapped Baroness Frankenstein and taken over her castle. I am honestly not making this up. At least if they did use the big guy in Iron Man 2, he’d share a common foe with Abbott and Costello. What other Marvel movie hero can boast that?






BLACK LAMA

The Black Lama was actually Prince Jerald of Earth-7511, who had taken over leadership of the kingdom of Grand Rapids after the previous leader had been exiled for unspecified indiscretions. The pressures of leadership were such that he retreated to the Marvel Universe for a break, where he promptly went insane and started pitting super villains against each other in an attempt to find a worthy successor to his throne. Prince Jerald was essentially Gerald Ford of Earth-7511, an alternate world where America was called the Kingdom of Grand Rapids, and the exiled king was Richard Nixon, and Baron Rockler, who later showed up to war with Jerald, was Nelson Rockefeller. To be fair, if the real Watergate scandal had involved magic powers, super villains, and flying robot dragons, it would have been a lot more entertaining.





COMMANDER KRAKEN

Avast, me hearties, if pirates be popular now, think how much more popular they’ll be two years from now! If there’s any movie that couldn’t be improved by the addition of a jet propelled buccaneer, I haven’t seen it. Think how much better The Hours or House Party 3 would have been if there’d been a villainous techno-pirate threatening the cast. Marvel’s never been afraid to exploit a trend long after the general public has lost interest, so why should their movies be any different?

8 comments:

Stephen said...

they should do all three

Jack Norris said...

I have to admit, when Black Lama first appeared when I was a kid, I didn't know what a "Lama" was and thought they meant "Llama".

Hoosier X said...

The whole Black Lama thing totally made sense to me at the time. Well, not really. I just never really thought about it that much. I mean ... there was a guy who basically just a head with limbs! And Sunfire! And a guy with rings! (I thought that's what a mandarin was. A guy with rings! But why wasn't he orange? I thought mandarins were orange!) And Firebrand! And The Crimson Dynamo! And a whole bunch of other crazy shit!

I love those comics.

Jonathan S. said...

I say any movie that has a Kraken in it will be improved. For instance, just think of how "Driving Miss Daisy" would have been had their been a Kraken in it. And, just think of how great "Shakespeare in Love" would have been had it included someone very much like Commander Kraken? Indeed, Kraken = Good Movie.

Stephen said...

Honestly, the whole Black Lama storyline could have been wrapped up much sooner had Iron Man figured out Lama's one weakness... stairs.

mrcanacorn said...

MODOK, MODOK,and Ms. MODOK!

Oh, and thanks for saying,"FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER"..I just hate it when people call him Frankenstein.

totaltoyz said...

At least if they did use the big guy in Iron Man 2, he’d share a common foe with Abbott and Costello. What other Marvel movie hero can boast that?

I dunno...Blade? Did he ever meet Dracula in any of the movie sequels? I only ever saw the first one.

And we all know the best choice for the villain in Iron Man 2 is Mr. Rasputin and Fangor!!

Cully said...

My votes go to the Slasher (I.M.#41)...trust me, he's a winner...and Happy Hogun as the Freak
(I.M.#3). Quality!