Thanksgiving Turkeys: The Asbestos Man

This article has beeen rewritten and updated! Read more about the Asbestos Man at "Legion of Subpar Villains: Fire-Proof, But By No Means Fail-Safe" 

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Red Hulk's Offensive Line

I am a staunch advocate of the law of comics that states that for every super hero team, there must be an equal and opposite super-villain group (see Four, Frightful). Which is why I'm unduly delighted to see the Red Hulk and HIS new allies, the OFFENDERS set to make their debut in HULK #10 as an evil cracked-mirror counterpart to Hulks old non-team, the DEFENDERS. I have no idea where Terrax, Baron Mordo and Tiger Shark, not to mention the Silver Surfer, Namor and 70's-masked Doctor Strange are supposed to fit in with current storylines, but Jeph Loeb never let continuity or story logic stand in the way of what is, admittedly, wicked-kewl eye candy.





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About That WATCHMEN Movie...

I once wrote that I didn't want to see a Watchmen movie made, but after seeing some of the posters and stills from the upcoming Zack Snyder helmed Watchmen movie, well, I could be wrong... The movie looks slicker and faster-paced than the graphic novel, but it would have to be, if they hope to get the whole story in. I don't worry that a bad movie will ruin Watchmen; I'm right in the middle of re-reading it, and it holds up just fine twenty-three years later, but I'd like to see a well done movie, too, of course. The movie will be its own thing, and as a movie, it...actually looks pretty damned impressive:

Of course, looking good is one thing, but will it be coherent? That remains to be seen. What do you folks think? I figure a Watchmen movie would probably get made sooner or later, and this one actually looks better than we had any reason to expect, so great! There was also once a much worse version in the works, apparently, so it sounds like we dodged a bullet. But hey, this is the Internet, so if you disagree, what are ya waitin' for, get to fuming impotently, already!

There's No Fu Like an Egg Fu!

It's that time of the year again my friends; time to break out the diseased blankets, don our itchiest Pilgrim garb and load up on giblet-y rhubarb pie and gingerbread stuffing. Time to boil up another old Tom turkey and bake another beet loaf. Time to gather together with family, friends and frightening, unshaven, wild-eyed strangers. Time indeed, to gather 'round the table and share another bounty of crappy, crappy Thanksgiving Turkeys, Again With the Comics style.

Yes, for the month of November, we have another horn of plenty...plenty of lame-ass turkey super villains, that is! And what better way to start the feast than with a villain who indeed serves as an ingredient in the preparation of many a Thanksgiving day feast! An egg can be used to make stuffing or pie, but for WONDER WOMAN, an egg can only make...MURDER!! Without further ado, EGG FU:

Bob Kanigher (Script) and Ross Andru (Pencils) brought us the debut of Egg Fu in Wonder Woman # 157 and 158 in "I, the Bomb!" In the story, Wonder Woman is a human bomb, charged with dangerous energy. She can't touch anyone or kiss Steve Trevor, or she'll blow them up. we know this because she tells us repeatedly, over and over, again and again througout the first part of the story. Then Steve Trevor Gets explodey, too but they still cant kiss, and we hear about that for most of the second issue until they find and brutally murder Egg Fu:

Damn! Wonder woman just cracks his muthafuckin' haid open, then flies off laughing in her invisible jet. That, my friends, is hardcore.

Don't Worry, though, pals! Kanigher had a whole carton of evil eggs at his disposal, and before you know it, another smaller and more mobile Egg Fu (the Fifth!) was on the loose in Wonder Woman # 166:

Kanigher and Andru did double duty on Metal Men for DC, and in issue #20, of that even more off-kilter title, they faced a challenge that every storyteller confronts sooner or later. A giant cannibal robot, a giant birthday cake. And the Metal Men acting as robot "birthday candles" for the giant cannibal robot's giant birthday cake. But who could serve the giant cannibal robot his smaller-robot studded cake? WHO? Why, an enormous, bespectacled, Asian super-egg, of course. Duh.

Ha ha! Look at that cannibal robot licking his lips! He sure loves to eat cake. And Robots. Beside going back to the Egg Fu well a third time, Dr. Yes also incorporates that evergreen comic-writing crutch of awkwardly shoehorning in an otherwise unrelated pop-culture reference, in this case the then hot James Bond "Doctor No" film, in hopes of reeling in a few extras sales.

Egg Fu has returned to the DC Universe in recent years in the pages of 52 and Checkmate. He's all sadistic and scary now, and sadly, seems to have ditched the prehensile mustache:



As for the future, I'm not sure when another Egg-Fu will appear, but rest assured readers, that if one does, albumen-tioning it here, at Again With the Comics!