Welcome, Fear-feinters! Come in from the cold, my friends! Don't be afraid...YET! Well, at all really.
I'm your host, the Old County Clerk and Recorder..KEEPER! Our community doesn't employ a crypt-keeper as such, and all of our graves are dug with back-hoes operated by city employees, but those employees are under my direct supervision! A-HEEHEEHEE!!!
I'm getting off the subject.
AH HEEHEEHEE!! Prepare to be emotionally unaffected, as I present to you three torpid tales of inanity! First, you'll never look at the Franklin Mint in the same way again,after you read:
HOW IRONIC. He smashed up all of his furniture but somehow missed the tiny porcelain man and his tiny porcelain wife, then they came to life somehow and beat him half to death. It just goes to show, smash the smallest, most helpless stuff first. (EDIT 1/14/09 -Craven commenter RAB points out that this story isn't quite as insipid as I make it out to be in the comments section!)
The next entry in my Ledger of Lameness concerns a little boy, a dog whistle, and complete and utter pointlessness.
Uneventful, wasn't it kiddies? There's one story that truly... BLOWS. AHEEHEEHEE!
Finally, a sluggish saga of how one man's search for immortality, coupled with his woeful inattention to detail leads to insipid results: Aheeheehee! Should have asked for a drivers license, buddy! That's all for now, dread-dodgers, time for the the Old County Clerk and Recorder to crawl back into the tomb. I'm just going to need you to sign here... And here. And here. Then initial here by the "X"es....
"Lord Rampion's Rampage" from Tense Suspense #1, 1958 By Al Fago (Studio) "Dog Whistle" from Out of this World #8, 1958 by Dick Malm "To Live Forever" from Out of this World #10, 1958 by Paul Reinman