Friday, January 30, 2009

Married...With Clobberin' ?

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage, Go together like a horse and carriage...
You know what doesn't Go together like a horse and carriage? Married...With Children and comic books. At least not if Married...With Children: Quantum Quartet is anything to go by. Casting Al, Peg, Kelly and Bud Bundy as the Fantastic four might have "rocked" for one issue, but stretched out for a whole flamin' series? That's pretty hard to see.

NOW Comics published a regular Married...With Children for a few years back in the early 1990's. At the time, comics were booming, and all kinds of strange stuff was on the racks. Married...With Children comics apparently even sold well enough to merit spin offs. Terrible, terrible spin offs. That, or NOW had the license, they had the cheap labor, and they were gonna milk it for all they could get.

Each issue has a framing sequence featuring Bud Bundy scrawling out his crude, amateurish, hastily-scrawled superhero parody comic, before fading in to...a marginally less crude, amateurish, hastily-scrawled superhero parody comic. It starts out set, inexplicably, in the 1950's, before breaking and abandoning the pretense almost immediately. The Bundys are watching a new giant TV that Al just won at a shoe convention when the TV blasts them with strange rays that give them powers.

I can' I have to describe the rest of this? They get their powers, they go to Ma Schooders Superhero Training Emporium (?!?) where the receptionist has a beehive hairdo and says 'youse" a lot to indicate her casual disregard for customer satisfaction and later there's disco jokes...! Nonono. Just no.

Mad magazine cartoonist Tom Richmond drew this early in his career under an intense deadline for chronically late pay. He has an interesting story about drawing the Married...With Children comic for NOW over at his blog.

The Quantum Quartet's main foe was Male Nurse Doom. Now, I used to watch Married...With Children, and it sure seems like I remember an episode where Peggy's old boyfriend shows up to try to win her back, and he turns out to be a male nurse, and Al gets all jealous. Then as surely as spring follows winter, hi-jinks ensue.

So yes: basically, I'm wondering if the Doctor Doom parody character in Married...With Children: Quantum Quartet is based on a canonical Married...With Children character. What.

NOW was another one of those cash-strapped funnybook operations that could never quiiite keep up with paying everyone, so Married...With Children: Quantum Quartet fell off the radar uncompleted for a year or so before returning with a single issue finishing off the series. I don't have it, and I don't plan to get it.

Belchaar. See, he burps.



Mego Thor said...

Your puerile blogging bores King Krypto.

ALFRED said...

I like the one where Peg dreams she's a mutant in the year 3000 piloting a delivery ship and her companions are a time traveling idiot and a sarcastic robot and ....oh, wait.

Brian Hughes said...

FUTURAMA may be my favorite TV show ever.

Booksteve said...

I swear I pulled these comics out of the box just last night with the intent to blog about them over the weekend!

Brian Hughes said...

Hell, you still can if you want... but I think you just dodged a bullet!

Grebo said...

Futurama rules, 'tis true. It's apalling that it was cancelled, wonderful that they're doing new installments on DVD now and then, and disgusting that Family Guy came back as a full series while Futurama did not.

As for the Fantastic Bundys, um, no. I'll take the porno sendup of Married With Children called "Married With Hormones." It was pretty hot and also actually funny!

Tom R said...

Yikes. Isn't reviewing this comic a little like kicking old homeless people in the street? Aren't there some more recent or relevant comics deserving of review?

Tom R said...

Ah...nevermind. I see the point. You would be hard pressed to find a more bizarre forage into comicdom than a comic based on that show. Especially the later issues where they "jumped the shark" (if that's possible for a comic) with the weird fantasy storylines. On top of that, the artist was a total HACK! ;)

Love the blog, will visit regularly!

ninjathatrocks said...

I have the second comic you didn't read. I missed the first part, but let me tell you it's one of the or is the greatest parody comics ever.

I didn't realize there was even a first issue because the stories is just so dumb and funny it drags you in right away.So much stuff happens, a Cable parody meets the quartet when a notable eater of worlds shows up. Cable calls for backup from Ma Schooders Superhero Training Emporium.The backup is a two page spread of almost every superhero character that was around at that time. They were delecious.It turns out that Belcher is this eater of worlds heralds so Al has to have a belching contest for the fate of the earth!Plus a gay watcher/beyonder, sliver and gold neighbors, there kid that was around for a season and then written off the show, and the dumbest origin story ever(male nurse doom) if you don't count animal mans'.

You've got to read the second part. It's just pure nonsense, the storys lacks realism, it's extremly childish, and shows no respect for traditional generic conventions, in short it's abnormal and offensive. Pure Fun.

rohan said...

I liked it very much it is a nice show. I saw it from Download Married With Children