Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Krypto Joins the Space Canine Patrol Agency!

When Superboy once again ditches his faithful dog Krypto to join the Legion of Superheroes in the 30th century, the dejected hound of steel is delighted to find a similar group of super canines of his own to join! Yes, once again we find that there is no depth to the insanity of the Silver age, as Again With the Comics scrapes the bottom of the 1966's Superboy barrel to dig out yet another nutty Krypto story when the Dog of Steel becomes..."The Dog from S.C.P.A."

The story begins with Krypto in space, where he spots what he thinks is a giant balloon, but what is actually Mammoth Mutt, the dog equivalent of Bouncing Boy. If you think its wacky that Superman has a dog, consider that there is actually a dog version of Bouncing Boy in DC Comics history. But hang on, it gets worse. It gets much, much worse.

Mammoth Mutt explains that he is a member of the Space Canine Patrol Agency, a group of space-dog crime fighters, each of whom has one unique superpower. He then explains that the a group of interstellar criminals named the Canine Caper Gang were the ones who killed him, as well as holding his team-mates captive on the planet below. Then, he dies. Krypto actually buries him in a little grave, which is absurdly touching in that way that only Silver Age Superman stories can sometimes be. He then flies to the planet Mammoth Mutt described:

Having noted that the Dog-people are walking upright and wearing clothes, Krypto then Dons the fallen SCPA agent's collar and a pair of Clark Kent's spare glasses that he was carrying for no apparent reason, and disguises himself in order to tackle the Canine Caper gang:


Yes, having noted that the Dog-people are walking upright and wearing clothes, Krypto then Dons the fallen SCPA agent's collar and a pair of Clark Kent's spare glasses and no clothing whatsoever and disguises himself in order to tackle the Canine Caper gang, his naked shame hidden behind a convenient pale yellow cloud.

His nudity uncommented on, he attacks the canine crooks as secret agent Air Daile, the flying dog. Flummoxed by his speed, the poaching pups sic their "doggysaur" on Krypto/Air Daile:


Krypto dzzies the freakish mutation by flying circles around it, but then lets himself be beaten and jailed to keep up the ruse that he's an SCPA agent with only one power:

You know, there just aren't that many scenes of dogs sharing chewing gum in comics, are there? Well, no avoiding it any further; time to meet the Space Canine Patrol Agency!

Tail Terrier! Tusky Husky! Chameleon Collie! Hot Dog! Bull Dog! Paw Pooch! The Space Canine Patrol Agency! This barrel has no bottom, folks!

Unfortunately, the hound of steel finds he has suddenly, inexplicably lost his super-powers! His plan to use his mighty powers to break them all free foiled, the super-powered canines pool their wits to dig their way out of greyhound gulag:


And yes, by the internal logic of this fictional Dogworld, established only two pages earlier in this very story, the SCPA are also apparently nudists.

Soon enough, even though powerless, Krypto has rallied the SCPA to rout the Caper Gang:



Yes, that's right, the gum that Chameleon Collie offered Krypto in that seemingly pointless gum-sharing scene was tainted with Kryptonite, causing Krypto's mysterious weakness. It's a textbook case of Checkhov's gun, only with super-powered dogs and chewing gum.

The Canine Caper Gang somehow gains the upper hand again, demanding to be taken to a place with no canine agents, a request Krypto is only too happy to fulfill:



The Space Canine Patrol Agency official slogan:

BIG DOG! BIG DOG!
BOW WOW WOW!
WE'LL CRUSH EVIL...
NOW, NOW, NOW!



With special thanks to the Michael Coco library for it's loan of Superboy # 131!

8 comments:

Grebo said...

[snicker]
...
"Power Puss"
...
[guffaw]
...
BWAAhahahahahaaaaa!

Oh man. That little comic was batcrap crazy. Thanks for posting it!!!

MetFanMac said...

I actually remembered seeing these guys in the Krypto cartoon...

Craig said...

1. Really enjoy this blog.
2. Brian really nails it with "absurdly touching in that way that only Silver Age Superman stories can sometimes be". Although the stories were nuts, they were also somehow very appealing, especially to a 9-year-old. Part of it, I think, was the artwork - very accessible.
Thanks!

Mego Thor said...

Clothes bore King Krypto.

Wow, this may have just become my favorite post to date. You usually don't see a dog killed on-screen in any medium, but there it is in tragic four-colors. There does seem to be some difference between the...er...super-dogs and the "normal" residents of the planet. Krypto and the gang look like regular dogs, while the rest are more anthropomorphic (human hands and such). So I guess we can forgive them streaking around, but that doesn't explain the need for Krypto's "disguise".

Finally, a couple of uncredited cameos. In the third panel, Brandy from "Brandy & Mr. Whiskers", predating her cartoon debut by some fifty years. Of course, the villians of the piece were the Beagle Boys, sans nameplates. I don't think Walt would be very pleased. And that's no BULL! Get the point

Sea_of_Green said...

OMG, this is pure gold! I strongly doubt DC's upcoming new "superpet" book will reach this level of absurdity, which is a darn shame, really.

Rick said...

Kryptonite gum... hilarious... those mutts slipped him a mickey! it has a campy charm to it now, but as a kid I would've hated it.

Pippy said...

What no Substitute Space Canine Patrol Agents?

I was oddly elated that Chekhov's gun turned out to be nothing to do with Star Trek...

Tom Galloway said...

Oh,it gets even better. The third and last SCPA story introduced villains the Phanty Cats, pet cats of the Phantom Zone villains who'd been beamed into the zone to keep their owners company.