Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Rob Liefeld’s AWESOME MAXIMUM Bible Tales

I've just received a notice from the FCC. Apparently, as a comics blogger I am legally obligated to bitch about Rob Liefeld, and I haven't done so at all in the entire history of Again With the Comics. I must rectify this oversight immediately or face a hefty fine.

Rob's work doesn’t appeal to me much, but he has published some books I've enjoyed via his Awesome Comics imprint of the early 1990's. I've noticed that in the rare case he does produce something I enjoy, he inevitably screws it up, business-wise. In his own work, he flits from one thing to another, losing interest easily, and has thus failed to build a substantial body of work. TESTAMENT is just one of the many, many projects he has excitedly babbled about in the past, and then failed to ever actually produce and in this one and only case, I am sorely disappointed.

There's so many points where this project might have stalled out; maybe it was when Rob drew Noah and realized he'd have to draw all those animals. "Well, I could draw a couple'a gorillas, I guess, and TIGERS! Tigers are cool! Then an indistinct, crosshatched silhouette to indicate all the other animals that a quarter!?! SHINY!"

Here we see Will and Jada Pinkett Smith as Samson and Delilah, another bit of fantasy casting from Liefeld. He must have met the Hollywood power couple at some L.A. shindig awhile back or something, because for over a decade, he’s been chattering about various movie, comic, and media projects he’s been “working on” with Will Smith, none of which ever, er, happened. AND YES, Liefeld has produced one issue of Jada Pinkett Smith’s Menace, which I have, (and it was terrible) so he has some “professional” acquaintance with the Smiths. That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve heard Liefeld namedrop Will Smith, like, 100 times, and I’ve heard Will Smith namedrop Liefeld zero times.

I mean, Robert Crumb recently did an adaptation of the book of Genesis, and it looks great, and I plan to check it out and all, but flipping through it, my first thought was: “Not enough spaceships and giant robots!”. I'm with Rob here: why can’t the Bible be just as wicked kewl as “Star Wars” indeed? Boring ol’ Bible.

When I realized that mister hummingbird’s-attention-span Liefeld had been working on “Testament” the mind reeled with thoughts of the unfulfilled car-crash awesomeness that was lost when he chose to do “Heroes Reborn”, “X-Force”, half-a-dozen Youngblood revivals, and whatever the Hell else he’s been working on these last few years instead. It turns out he's been working on an entirely different Bible-y deal instead. THIS he finishes!? Bleh, looks unbelievably boring. Ya shoulda gone with Cyborg Moses, Rob!


Jeff Hebert said...

Welcome to the club, Brian :-) Now that you've drunk the Liefeldade, all will be well with your world.

On a somewhat more serious note, I think you nailed it with regards to his hummingbird-like attention span. His antipathy to any art-related issues requiring patience, craft, time, devotion, detail, or other "boring stuff" is the defining characteristic of his career and his comics.

Chronic ADD resulting in bad anatomy, no backgrounds, insipid plotting, limp line drawing, indistinguishable faces, and repetitive themes. That's Liefeld's career in a nutshell.

Anonymous said...

I told my wife not to read this post, but, yay, she did.

And now she's a pillar of salt.

How fucking extreme is that?

Brian Hughes said...

A Lot.


The One True GL said...

I did a post about snotty behaviour toward Liefeld.

Be warned. I like Liefeld, who is not a perfect artist.

Arkonbey said...

I am agog.

That was so- so- Liefeldian!

Here I thought we'd all moved on and left Liefeld to be forgotten.

joe bloke said...

hell, I'd buy it!

Kid Kyoto said...

Man I'd buy that in a second. Even buy two so I can polybag the first one.

hobbyfan said...

Robber Liefeld only knows one way to draw the human anatomy. Unfortunately, based on the sketches you posted, it doesn't look right on Biblical figures like, for example, Noah.

Mike said...

"Futuristic Styled Carpentry Gear" FTW.