Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Future Superman is Futuristic!

Introducing the Future Superman of 2965! You won't believe your eyes! He's SO DIFFERENT from the original Superman from Krypton!!
For one thing, no spit-curl! And...and there's other different stuff too! FUTURE!

Here we see the tenth generation Superman, identical to the previous nine save for a slightly different hairstyle, being sworn in by the Federation of planets:

The good news is, Future Superman is no longer vulnerable to Kryptonite, having gained an immunity after generations of exposure. The bad news: He's now paralyzed by common seawater, which, y'know, only covers 80% of the Earth's surface. Kind of like being told the doctor fixed your bunions but accidently gave you cancer in the process:

Superman 2965 keeps a secret identity also, but not as a primitive newspaper reporter. In the far-flung world of tomorrow, Superman poses as Klar Ken T5477, INTERPLANETARY news reporter for the Daily Interplanetary Ultra News! Futuristic, eh? Still...if the future Superman is so different, why is he wearing the same crusty old "draws" as the last nine Supermen?

No mere human Editor can keep up with Interplanetary Ultra News, so the staff answer to PW-5598, the toughest, slave-driving-est computer editor in the business. Created by Per Wye T7357 and dedicated to his ancestor, Perry White (and decorated with a laurel-framed picture of him!), it takes no guff from impetuous space-cub reporters! Don't call it Chief!

Then there's Lyra 3916, or should I say Lyra 36-24-36? Damn, girl, you be makin' Lois Lane look like a bag of puke!

Better yet, Lyra "goes for' Klar, but thinks Superman is an egotist (or "piffle-diffle" as they say in 2965). Given that, the general Utopian feel of 2965, and the seawater situation, I'm not sure why Klar should bother with being Superman at all. Maybe he's just a squabble-wobble*.

Not to say that it's all seawater and hotties for future Superman. He has a few enemies, but they manage to be even even lamer than regular Superman's notoriously lame rogue's gallery. His main and pretty much only enemy was the Nixon-esque mutant MUTO:

Who enlisted a handful of space goons to help him:

But that's pretty light work for a Man of Steel. Oh yeah, unless they fight on the beach, I guess.

There was also a Batman of 2965, but that post will have to wait until...THE FUTURE!

*Future slang for "moron" -Ed



Pastrami said...

I'm sure glad that you are very down to earth it - it would be a real drag if YOU were a piffle diffle!
That's why I go for your blog.

Brian Hughes said...

*Thabble yabble, Pastrami.

*Future slang for "Thank you" -Ed

Keith Beach said...

JEEZ! No wonder Marvel comics were making a killing at this time. You'd have to be pretty simple-minded to prefer this sort of comic....

MetFanMac said...

So... Von-Don's power is... being monochromatic.


Even the Legion of Substitute Heroes would laugh him off.

ZADL said...

So... jobs are hereditary?