Friday, September 23, 2011

Legion of Subpar Villains: The Living Eraser!

"Dead ball!"

I've always had a place in my heart for the loser super-villain: that lower-class workingman tier of bad guy who has the moxie to strap some electrified springs to his feet or dress himself as a giant walking haystack and go out to steal himself a piece of the American dream, only to recieve an immediate and humiliating beatdown by Daredevil or Iron Man. Many are so pathetic, they are never seen again, cast aside for flashier, sleeker models of evil. There are always plenty of accolades for the Doctor Dooms, the Jokers and the Darkseids of comics, but what about those guys and gals for whom just showing their face in public is an act of courage? Only Again With the Comics has the guts to speak for the the once-hit wonders, the forgotten failures, and the goofy, reject remnants of supervillans past.

Only here do we honor...The Legion of Subpar Villains.

For example, take the Living Eraser...please!

Reknowned in his other-dimensional home for his spot-on Richard Nixon impersonation atomic-eraser gloves, this alien invader was sent to Earth to collect Atomic scientists for an invasion plan. The hungry little feller also grabbed up some delicious hot dogs while he was in the neighborhood:

Mmmm... hot dogs. So anyway, he erases some atomic eggheads (not to be confused with Egghead) and goes after Hank (Giant Man) Pym, who followed him to Dimension Z and easily dismantled the attack plans. The Living Eraser went on to fight the Thing and (ugh) Morbius, the Living Vampire, before disappearing into obscurity and an issue of She-Hulk that I never read.

Consider that his only power is basically to attack superheroes and bring them to his own house, and you'll see why the Living Eraser is a fitting candidate for the Legion of Subpar Villains.


Swellsman said...

Man! I had never heard of that guy before, but I think you may need to creat a sub-sub-par category. Let's see . . .

Lame name? Check.

Lame power? Check.

Jowls of doom? Check.

Insane desire to explain to the hero exactly what the hero needs to do to defeat him (I mean, c'mon, I've never even read the comic and that panel you showed us pretty much saved me the effort)? Check.

Oh, Living Eraser -- now you are a Living Legend!

(Of sadness.)

ZADL said...

Yes. This needs to be a thing. Please continue the catalog of failures!

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Joel Houston

5earths said...

I love villains who are clearly named after something found on a typical desk, like the Calculator. I believe Archie Comics' superhero line also had a villain called the Eraser.